There is a woman near me at work who leaves the ringer on her phone on, and it is constantly ringing during the day. I have no idea what she looks like since she's a row over from me and I can't be bothered to get up to look (not that I could see over the cube wall anyway), but I've heard her name for the past eight years so I know she's been around the block. But that's beside the point. The point is, she leaves her fucking ringer on, and the ringtone just happens to be this song:
I hate it. I have to hear this at least five times a day since it penetrates THROUGH my earbuds, and I HATE THAT RINGTONE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN LIFE!
On an up note (pun so intended), their faces all look like they're having great orgasms.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Adult Learners
I don't know what it is about adult learners at an adult-oriented university, but I feel like we're all complete idiots. Is it the extensive time out of high school? The years spent earning our keep by stuffing tiny plastic bags with cheap pencil toppers from Taiwan? Why are we all so arrogant that just because we know our jobs, we also know everything in the course textbooks? And if we do know everything in the texts, why the hell are we in this class in the first place?
I have indeed returned to school. Why? I don't really know. Hubs says it's because I have a thirst for knowledge or some crap, one of my best girlfriends says it's because I'm really competitive with myself or some crap. Maybe it's because most people I know have college degrees and I have an inferiority complex despite extensive licensures for my "professional" job many friends love hearing about. Maybe it's because I get bored with my exciting life of fun parties and bars and art openings and other fabulous events. YEAH RIGHT, GIMME THAT BACK PLEASE. But for whatever reason, I resumed classes at a different university that doesn't boast solely morning hours, and the result is that I should walk in June. YAY! But that doesn't mean I'm not going to pay for it in annoyances that seem totally atypical of the usual college experience.
Like doing group projects. I haaate group projects. Working with other people means leaving yourself open to their mistakes. To head this problem off at the pass, I usually take command of the project and the resulting work is always good because I'm organized and thorough and I'm not about to let my grade or reputation suffer for someone else's incompetence. This time, however, my two group partners were equally bull-headed and irebuffed my attempts to take charge. No, THEY wanted to build the PowerPoint. No, THEY wanted to put our three papers together and organize them into one. Fine. I'll take a chill pill and let you do it. I'm tired anyway. Too bad neither of them was actually prepared for the presentation we had to give last night and stumbled all over themselves looking like fools. One partner actually said as a preface, "I don't actually know what I'm talking about, I just threw this all together last night." GREAT. The other partner had such a paralyzing fear of public speaking that she didn't pay any attention to her notes-- she mumbled all the bullets off the slides and then tried to explain them like this even though they were fairly self-explanatory. It was one of the more painful experiences I've had. The joint-effort paper also came back to us last night with notes saying "Good job but it didn't flow and looked like three different papers one after another." THAT'S what happens when I relax and let other people do the work.
Another annoyance is the people who monopolizes all of the professor's question-taking time, and I mean ALL of it. It's almost impossible to ask a question unless you can duck these people. One lady I call Skeleton Face rushes to the front of the room before class, during break and after class, with questions questions questions-- "How do I get a job at the police station? What if I want to work in forensics? Let me tell you a story about when I worked at the county jail. Can we leave early tonight? I have an engagement at 7...." and on and on and on and ON. The leaving early thing particularly irks me and she asks EVERY week. We are only obliged to be in this class one night per week until 9. Often we leave earlier than 9-- sweet. Can't complain about that. But to book something for 7 on the one night you're supposed to be in class and then ask to leave early to accommodate your schedule? Where the hell are you from? What about the other people in your class who want to learn something and could give a fig that you have a 7 PM dye job?
Skeleton Face also loudly scoffs at each of our texts in class and is known to mutter "This looks like a crappy book." Really. Just STFU.
Then there are the true dumbasses. This other lady I call Dumpling cannot seem to comprehend the syllabus. Here's an example for you: Write a six-page essay discussing the differences between Civil Law and Criminal Law. Include in your paper three hypothetical cases illustrating civil law and three hypothetical cases illustrating criminal law. Easy enough to understand, right? NO. Dumpling barraged our professor with questions about that. "How do you want us to tell the difference? Where do we find the definitions of civil and criminal law? What kind of examples do I need? How long does it have to be? So I have to write an introductory paragraph too? And a closing paragraph? Do you have any examples of those?" Hey Dumpling! I have some questions for you. Did you read the book assignments, since they are actually all about civil vs. criminal law, complete with sample cases for you to cite? Did you read the syllabus where it says six pages? You said on the first day you had an Associate's Degree, so did you ever have to write a paper for that degree? DO IT LIKE THAT. This happens for every.....single.....assignment. I just don't understand what the confusion is.
Also, I'm pretty sure two of the boys in my class are developmentally disabled. One says almost nothing, ever, and the other one chats all the time. The other one though, he has an adorable speech impediment and just says really odd things. Like he's almost...uninhibited. Last night the professor was talking about cavity checks and he started cracking up out of nowhere with this braying laugh and choked out "Ohhhh, I can just see you wif your arm all da way up a pwostitute's butt!" I couldn't help it, and neither could the rest of the class. We all cracked the fuck up, and not from the mental picture.
I don't mind those two boys. They're just notable. Kill da wabbit.
I have indeed returned to school. Why? I don't really know. Hubs says it's because I have a thirst for knowledge or some crap, one of my best girlfriends says it's because I'm really competitive with myself or some crap. Maybe it's because most people I know have college degrees and I have an inferiority complex despite extensive licensures for my "professional" job many friends love hearing about. Maybe it's because I get bored with my exciting life of fun parties and bars and art openings and other fabulous events. YEAH RIGHT, GIMME THAT BACK PLEASE. But for whatever reason, I resumed classes at a different university that doesn't boast solely morning hours, and the result is that I should walk in June. YAY! But that doesn't mean I'm not going to pay for it in annoyances that seem totally atypical of the usual college experience.
Like doing group projects. I haaate group projects. Working with other people means leaving yourself open to their mistakes. To head this problem off at the pass, I usually take command of the project and the resulting work is always good because I'm organized and thorough and I'm not about to let my grade or reputation suffer for someone else's incompetence. This time, however, my two group partners were equally bull-headed and irebuffed my attempts to take charge. No, THEY wanted to build the PowerPoint. No, THEY wanted to put our three papers together and organize them into one. Fine. I'll take a chill pill and let you do it. I'm tired anyway. Too bad neither of them was actually prepared for the presentation we had to give last night and stumbled all over themselves looking like fools. One partner actually said as a preface, "I don't actually know what I'm talking about, I just threw this all together last night." GREAT. The other partner had such a paralyzing fear of public speaking that she didn't pay any attention to her notes-- she mumbled all the bullets off the slides and then tried to explain them like this even though they were fairly self-explanatory. It was one of the more painful experiences I've had. The joint-effort paper also came back to us last night with notes saying "Good job but it didn't flow and looked like three different papers one after another." THAT'S what happens when I relax and let other people do the work.
Another annoyance is the people who monopolizes all of the professor's question-taking time, and I mean ALL of it. It's almost impossible to ask a question unless you can duck these people. One lady I call Skeleton Face rushes to the front of the room before class, during break and after class, with questions questions questions-- "How do I get a job at the police station? What if I want to work in forensics? Let me tell you a story about when I worked at the county jail. Can we leave early tonight? I have an engagement at 7...." and on and on and on and ON. The leaving early thing particularly irks me and she asks EVERY week. We are only obliged to be in this class one night per week until 9. Often we leave earlier than 9-- sweet. Can't complain about that. But to book something for 7 on the one night you're supposed to be in class and then ask to leave early to accommodate your schedule? Where the hell are you from? What about the other people in your class who want to learn something and could give a fig that you have a 7 PM dye job?
Skeleton Face also loudly scoffs at each of our texts in class and is known to mutter "This looks like a crappy book." Really. Just STFU.
Then there are the true dumbasses. This other lady I call Dumpling cannot seem to comprehend the syllabus. Here's an example for you: Write a six-page essay discussing the differences between Civil Law and Criminal Law. Include in your paper three hypothetical cases illustrating civil law and three hypothetical cases illustrating criminal law. Easy enough to understand, right? NO. Dumpling barraged our professor with questions about that. "How do you want us to tell the difference? Where do we find the definitions of civil and criminal law? What kind of examples do I need? How long does it have to be? So I have to write an introductory paragraph too? And a closing paragraph? Do you have any examples of those?" Hey Dumpling! I have some questions for you. Did you read the book assignments, since they are actually all about civil vs. criminal law, complete with sample cases for you to cite? Did you read the syllabus where it says six pages? You said on the first day you had an Associate's Degree, so did you ever have to write a paper for that degree? DO IT LIKE THAT. This happens for every.....single.....assignment. I just don't understand what the confusion is.
Also, I'm pretty sure two of the boys in my class are developmentally disabled. One says almost nothing, ever, and the other one chats all the time. The other one though, he has an adorable speech impediment and just says really odd things. Like he's almost...uninhibited. Last night the professor was talking about cavity checks and he started cracking up out of nowhere with this braying laugh and choked out "Ohhhh, I can just see you wif your arm all da way up a pwostitute's butt!" I couldn't help it, and neither could the rest of the class. We all cracked the fuck up, and not from the mental picture.
I don't mind those two boys. They're just notable. Kill da wabbit.
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